April 14, 2014

andrewbelami:

f4me:

If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects
Then how do they expect a single student to learn all the subjects fuck

Is this a real post

(via portkeytonowhere)

April 14, 2014
notquiteluke:

this is some next level british grandma carpeting

notquiteluke:

this is some next level british grandma carpeting

(via portkeytonowhere)

April 14, 2014

sarcasticmisanthropicvegan:

they were rescued from a testing lab, they’ve never walked on grass before

(Source: frozensecond, via portkeytonowhere)

April 14, 2014
Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)
Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
Dad: Fuck the government.
Dad: Fuck the school board.
Dad: Close the door.
Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
Dad: I love puns.
Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
Dad: Please shut up.
Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
Dad: They act like I care what they think.
Dad: I hate homework.
Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
April 14, 2014

(Source: mindykaeling, via lochtess-monster)

April 14, 2014

(Source: warrior-smile-books, via 2000ish)

April 14, 2014

amoying:

when you realise you’ve eaten more than the rest of your friends at a party

image

(Source: amoying, via lochtess-monster)

April 14, 2014

loushirolls:

The juniors today got letters from first graders because their prom is Friday telling them not to drink and drive and stuff and this one guy in my AP Bio class got one that said “dont do cokine intil your 21” 

(via lochtess-monster)

April 14, 2014
jayjayvanzz:

I think I won the entire game

jayjayvanzz:

I think I won the entire game

(via lochtess-monster)

April 14, 2014

(Source: wewillbefitandthin, via fuckyeahfitspo)

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